How to Develop Refusal Skills & Stay Close to God
Develop age appropriate stories and ask your kids
to use the following:
1. What to do if you're not sure? Use the "Trouble
- Say "No."
- Does it break the law?
- Will an authority become angry?
- Does it make sense to YOU?
- Will it harm a relationship or hurt someone else?
- Will the friend do the activity only if you participate?
- Where will the action lead? How will it affect others?
What will it do to you?
- Will you think well of yourself when you look back on
what you have done?
- Pretend it's a problem of someone you admire--what would
that person do?
- Would you want your family or friends to know?
2. Refusal Skills Model *
- Stall and get information: Ask questions like –
"Where are you going?"
- Instant Replay: Name the problem activity – be
specific ex. The beer?
- State the consequences: Long-term and short-term –
"My mom would kill me."
- Suggest an alternative. It doesn't have to relate to
the present activity. Know some suggestions in advance.
- Use techniques that will work, for example, flattery,
humor, challenge or shock.
- Leave a door open – most difficult step –
let friends know that the activity is the difficulty not
3. Effective ways to say "NO" *
- Say "No."
- Leave the scene
- Ignore by using body language
- Make an excuse
- Change the subject
- Act shocked
- Use flattery
- Use humor
- Act dumb
4. Ask the kids – How do you stay true to God?
– Write the word “grace” on the board and
fill in the kids’ answers.
God never asks us to do anything we cannot do. Accept His
invitation and His grace. Molly Kelly suggests using the word
GRACE as a reminder.
in touch with GOD by daily prayer and reading
of the sacraments – the Eucharist and Reconciliation,
God's delete button.
A Avoid occasions
of sin – have an escape plan.
– let God come first
– be a good example to each other.
Adapted from How to Save Sex for Marriage: A Family Workshop
part of the “Project Genesis Series” – Leaflet
Missal Company, St. Paul, Minnesota (1-800-328-9582)
Mary Lee O’Connell, CRNP - 8/04 ©