Developing Parent Programs: Challenges & Solutions .pdf >>

Start with a Leadership Team to:

• Achieve diversity of ideas and increased communication among parents



• Ensure continuation of programs by not depending on only one or two people



• Involve more people who are committed to make things happen



• Share the work - from preparing announcements, letters and handouts to room set-up, hosting and evaluating

How to Build a Great Leadership Team

Faith-based - Meet with clergy, school principal, religious education director, guidance counselor, and one or two teachers (religion, science and health teacher).

Public School Setting - Meet with the school principal, guidance counselor, and one or two teachers (science and health teacher).

• Ask for a list of three qualified people to join the leadership team:



• Members who reflect each family of origin.



• People who share the same values and teachings.



• Professionals to enlist - doctor, nurse, social worker, teacher



• PTA officers and Parents -who know the best times for programs, have great communication networks, and can address other parents' concerns



• Grandparents - who often share child care and may have fund-raising contacts

Communications

• Communicate early and often. No one regretted notifying parents too soon but many said they waited too long. Those who had a meeting early in the process prevented misinformation from growing and spreading.



• Communicate with catechists/teachers. The easiest beginnings occurred when the leader/principal had the catechists/teachers and school counselors lined up and fully informed.



• Evaluate all programs. Include summaries of the evaluations in the bulletin/newsletter and keep copies in the church/school library. This encourages attendance when programs are offered again.

Funding Programs

• Decide to use an all-purpose fund or one with a line item for parent programs. Most prefer the line item as it provided more of a guarantee for the program's existence.



• Ask the parents' association to purchase library resources and sponsor speakers.



• Request a fee to cover child care, refreshments/dinner and/or handouts. Child care increases attendance. If you feed them, they will come.



• Purchase parent sexuality education books in bulk and sell at full price. #1 parent request is to have books available for purchase at meetings.



• Share the speaker's fee with a neighboring parish/school by co-sponsoring some programs.

Addressing Concerns and Objections

• Listen to concerns. Always be polite. Listen carefully when others take the time to voice concerns and address their concerns without being drawn into emotional or harangue-type discussions.



• Objections may be voiced by a few vocal parents - Often the difficult people you deal with have the greatest need for healing.



• Continue to Keep the Door Open - even if you do not agree, learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Bring them in to share the books and evaluations.



• Publicity is the best proactive defense. Hold open meetings that are advertised in bulletins/newsletters and keep copies of the minutes available in the church or school

The Introductory Meeting

• A general meeting early in the process lets people meet the leadership team and learn how the guidelines/programs were developed.



• Emphasize the rights and responsibilities of parents as the primary educators of their children.



• Clarify programs' four purposes to help parents to:
  
• communicate their values and beliefs about the gift of sexuality with their children


• prepare for what to say by learning kids' most frequently asked questions


• plan the content to include first puberty and later sex education talks with their children


• develop a parent support network to help parents help each other
  
  
• Have outlines of the programs and books available for review

• Pray. Sometimes it is hard not to be discouraged or take opposition and criticism personally.



• Ask other churches/synagogues and schools to share their experience with you.



• Realize that parents will "parent" the same way they were raised. Many weren't taught themselves.



• Accept that some parents need help to learn how to effectively communicate their values and beliefs.



• Understand that a parent's sexual history, how they view their church teachings, from acceptance to anger, and their lifestyle, e.g.; a mom with a live-in boyfriend, can block parents from effectively helping their children.



• Don't rush into implementing a program. Go slowly.

• When and What kids are asking - Parents who know the answers to the most frequently asked questions will be less uncomfortable, better prepared and more willing to talk with their children.



• When and What happens during puberty - especially for boys



• What are the Church's/Synagogue's teachings and What parents should say about:
  
  • Abstinence/Chastity - kids want reasons. They say "convince us."
    
  • Condoms - kids see condom use as "responsible" sex
    
  • Dating - priority to delay couple dating and establish family rules
    
  • God and Sex - Is sex good or bad? What and Why do we believe
    
  • Homosexuality - confused by the media, parents MUST discuss
    
  • Inappropriate Touch - knowing safety rules lessens the risk and the child's fear
    
  • Masturbation - frequent question from both parents and children
    
  • Modesty - parents need suggestions as many feel it is a "losing battle"
    
  • Oral sex - kids need answers but parents don't know what to say
    
  • Peer Pressure - informed parents can be their child's greatest protection
    
  • Pornography - kids argue "light porn" is OK. Also need to discuss the internet.
    
  • STDs/AIDS - young kids are afraid but older kids believe the "safe sex" messages
  
  
• What are the Stages of Intimacy; what is a good relationship and most importantly, how do we learn to love? How do we develop the virtues/character traits needed to love others as we wish we would be loved? These topics are often forgotten in the discussions.

Mary Lee O'Connell, CRNP - 8/04